After a flurry of Kardashian pregnancy rumors (and one confirmation that Kim Kardashian West and Kanye West's surrogate is with child), the internet had a field day. As soon as Kylie Jenner's pregnancy rumor broke, the tabloids put her on "bump watch," even though the star's tight abdomen revealed no abnormality of any kind (nor did her long-found love of baggy clothing). After came Khloe's news, and the alleged Kardashian baby boom sent the internet down a black hole of speculation, ranging from rumors that either Kylie or Khloe is the surrogate for Kim and Kanye, to literature PhD-levels of close reads of the family's Instagram captions. Who Kan still Keep Up?
Just to give you a sense of the level of kraziness the speculation has reached: it has been reported that one of Kim's instagram photos of a month ago was actually a hint to the upcoming pregnancies already, and that Kylie would name her child either Butterfly, or Jade, Olive, or Scarlett, after the colors of her infamous lip-kits. Other conspiracy theories say that the pregnancies are planned around spin-off series, or that momager Kris Jenner has orchestrated the news to promote the upcoming season of Keeping Up With The Kardashians.
An often heard critique within the past weeks is that we have more pressing concerns to cater to and shouldn't divert our attention from Trump's tax overhaul, Puerto Rico's looming humanitarian crisis, or the Republican healthcare bill that has been killed and revived more times than one can count. But yet, it is exactly that critique that points to why the internet has so fully and enthusiastically embraced Kardashian Konspiracies--in a world where nuclear war can suddenly become a reality through a simple presidential tweet, the Kardashian universe offers a respite of clear narratives that are low-stake enough for us to invest our time in.
I am the first to admit that I have quite a few season passes to KUWTK in my iTunes account, and I watch the episodes late at night to calm me down after an unpredictable day in New York's media landscape. The Kardashian world is one where family matters above all, one where the biggest everyday dramas (shown on screen, at least) consists of mundane sisterly arguments, and one where the moral is always: We're better together. Unlike climate change or war, there's nothing of incomprehensible scale to wrap your mind around (except the family's growing wealth). Kardashian time is one where we we can safely speculate without consequence, because the stakes of getting Khloe's kid names wrong is so much lower than misunderstanding Trump's new tax code. It seems that, in our brave new world, the Kardashians have become the opium of the people.
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